What Sirius Wants, Sirius almost always Gets
by klemonademouth
Summary: All his life, Sirius Black got everything- everything- he wanted. Until the fateful day he didn't. Implied SBRL, is meant to be a companion to "Wind" but can be read alone. Oneshot.


Sirius Black was a winner.

He'd been assured of this ever since his birth into the "Most Ancient and Noble House of Black", and although he hadn't listened to a single other word his mother had said, he'd listen to this. He was a winner, and it meant he got what he wanted.

Always.

Usually this worked out. If he wanted to hex Snivellus, he got to hex Snivellus. If he wanted a new broomstick, he got a new broomstick. If he wanted that rather fetching blond over in the corner there, it meant he got that rather fetching blond over in the corner there. All his life, Sirius Black got everything- _everything_- he wanted.

Until the fateful day he didn't.

It started out an ordinary day of mischief and tomfoolery. Peter had just gotten a girlfriend, and therefore James and Sirius (despite Remus' protests to just "leave the poor boy alone, by Merlin") had to find and embarrass the new, happy couple. James and Sirius sat happily on the windowsill discussing plots on what the best way to do this was, and Remus tried determinatedly to ignore this. He was curled up on his bed with a new book- _Hairy Snout, Human Heart_- and trying his best to stay out of this.

"So I'll just nip down to the kitchens, then, shall I?" Sirius said enthusiastically, standing up.

Remus looked up. "Sirius, why on earth would you need to go to the kitchens to pull a prank on Peter?"

"Because I'm hungry," Sirius said, as if this explained everything.

Remus looked at James, who just shrugged. It probably made sense in his mind. Remus sighed, shut his book, and stood up. "I'll come with you, Padfoot."

Sirius' eyes lit up. "Brilliant! I'll regale you with tales of my heroic deeds."

"What heroic deeds? All you ever do is pull pranks on people." The door shut behind them.

"I'll have you know, just last week I rescued at least ten people from that foul prank those Slytherin gits were going to play on them."

"Only because you were mad that you didn't get to pull the prank first," Remus interjected.

"You think too little of me, Mr. Moony."

"Only because you think too much of yourself, Mr. Padfoot."

"Ah, and how could I not, when I always get what I want?"

Remus shot him a peculiar look. Unreadable. "Everything you want?"

"Everything," Sirius assured him, looking quizzical. "Why?"

"What if you wanted someone inaccessable?"

"Nobody's inaccessable, Moony," Sirius said, with a little laugh.

"What if you wanted, say... Lily?"

Sirius gagged a little. "Evans? You have a twisted mind, Moony. What in the name of Merlin's saggy balls would I want Evans for?"

"Hypothetically speaking, of course. What if you wanted Evans?"

"Well..." Sirius said, uncertainly. "I mean, that's different. She's James's."

"She's not James's, you prat," Remus said, smiling a little. "She's her own person, you know. We don't live in the bloody 16th century."

"I know that, you wanker, you know what I meant," Sirius said, shoving him. "I just meant- you know, I couldn't do that to James."

Remus hesitated again, and Sirius looked at him. "Spit it out, Moony, I know you want to say something."

"What if it was... James?"

"If what was James?"

"If James was the one you fancied?" he backpedaled at the look of horror on Sirius' face. "Hypothetically, of course," he added, quickly.

Sirius' face took on a thoughtful expression. "I don't really know what I'd do, Moons. I mean- he's a friend. And he's in love with Lily."

"So it doesn't matter to you that he's a bloke?"

Sirius shrugged. "The heart wants what the heart wants, Rem."

Remus smiled, twisting a loose thread from his robe around his finger. "That's nice, Padfoot." He patted Sirius' shoulder and turned away.

"Oy, I thought you were coming to the kitchens with me?"

Remus turned back and laughed. "I've no desire to see you consume half the contents of that kitchen, Sirius. I'll see you back in the common room."

True to his word, Remus was one of the only people still in the common room when Sirius returned. He was laying on his stomach on the faded hearthrug, flipping through his book. The dying coals light up one half of his face, leaving the other half in shadow. Little flecks of light danced in glints across his hair and Sirius found his eyes drawn to the curve of Remus' back, the hunch of his shoulders, the arch of his neck-

It was like a physical blow to the stomach when Sirius realized that he wanted something he could never, ever have.


End file.
